Finally in the air again? Here's how to make it easy breezy

If I had one phrase for this week and all the weeks to follow - it is 'just go'. Nothing feels quite like that first international flight out - the ascent - the smell of jet fuel - landing in another country - being hit in the face with the stifling humidity, bustling crowds of excited people from all corners of the earth reuniting and that feeling of life unfolding again as it once was. All the emotions of actually being on a plane again will smack you right between the eyes. If, like me - you watched the world as you knew it and the life that you had known and loved, close around you bit by bit. There is nothing quite like watching the world open up again. Like me, you may even shed a tear.

So go and lose yourself in temples, markets and alleyways again. Smell the incense, eat the noodles. Stuff your face with all the "good stuff": dumplings, rendang, duck, wontons, laksa, rotis, green papaya salad, briyani, ramen, curry, pau, nasi, satay, pho - then just keep going, keep eating and walking until you feel part of the world again. I did and it was the perfect way to clear the pandemic cobwebs.

Now you might be a bit rusty with all of this but you will soon remember how to travel but for some of us, it is in our DNA.

Packing my luggage again was automatic - after the first 5 minutes of not so sweet nostalgia had passed. Finding a boarding pass from my last fateful flight into Australia was like discovering an ancient relic. And with it came all the memories that came with that particular arrival. Then rifling through our collection of foreign currencies - neatly filed by country in zip lock bags so they were handy for last-minute departures. Smelling my passport - I'm sure it was a mix of stale nasi goreng with a hint of Tiger beer and a sprinkling of lime and chilli that I got a whiff of. A postcard of Ganesha and a note that said 'Curly' that I had tucked away for safekeeping and a token of luck for a speedy reunion. It took half a year. The wad of hotel quarantine paperwork from the government that was given to me after 14 days - a dark time shoved in a dark pocket in my happy orange suitcase and long forgotten.

Reading it in the light of day in 2022 I soon remembered how far we went down the grim path of lockouts/ ins/ downs of our own citizens. It didn't have to be that way Australia. It really didn’t. But not anymore. No - not anymore. Stand in front of the departure and arrivals boards at Changi and tell me the world isn't open! Tell me it is not welcoming and safe. I dare you.

The world is open. You just have to be a bit more prepared this time around, embrace some uncertainty and changes. It may also cost a tad more. But after being at the mercy of domestic travel costs and car hire price gouging in Australia - I will take more expensive flights any day. Swings and roundabouts.

To spread your wings beyond Brisvegas, Melbs and Radelaide you just have to get organised. Please don't be the person or group who shows up at the airport with no idea what to do and then expect a fast check-in. Those days are over. You may be denied boarding or will just cop a lot of dirty looks from people in the queue behind you - who are waiting around while you sort yourself out. Singapore makes it super easy with well-signed charging stations for your phone everywhere, fast Wi-Fi in Changi Airport, staff to help you and signs for each international destination detailing what is required for entry PRIOR to check-in - simple. Here in Oz not so much. Our apps are clunky, official information confusing, the signage minimal and the airport is understaffed so you better get organised.

Cabin crew prepare for take-off:

-Check you have 6 months of validity on your passport. It's up to a 6-week wait for a new one. This is a common issue around the world as people are travelling in droves again.

-If it is a requirement for your destination - make sure your vax certificate is uploaded and connected to your passport. The Medicare app won’t cut it. You need the international certificate. Save a screenshot and print it.

-Write a list of what is needed to enter your destination and to re-enter your state in Australia then check it again just before you leave and come back (if you are coming back) - things change that quickly. Then download all the apps needed ahead of time NOT at the check-in counter or immigration. Screenshot everything at the end of the process.

-Get your travel information from official sources only - not FarceBerk or your second cousins mates missus who thinks they are an expert. Go one better, support the industry and use a travel agent. (We didn’t use one only because we had me. Same same but different).

-Buy travel insurance (in some countries it is still mandatory to also have COVID insurance for entry) and really find out what it will cover you for. Don't just shove the pretty brochure in your bag and forget about it or use it as a coaster. Read the PDS. I was asked to show my policy and PDS at the check-in counter before boarding.

-Go old school. Print everything and make copies - don't just rely on apps and your phone. Phones get lost. Apps crash. Batteries go flat. Print it all. Screenshot completed forms and save them. And email all of it to yourself too. Put it in a big waterproof sleeve in the order you will use it. Use stick it tabs if it’s easier. There is no such thing as being over-prepared. It made check-ins and immigration seamless and super fast.

-Airline wait times right now can mean hours and hours on hold for flight changes, refunds and cancellations. Some airline websites are also crashing regularly. Don't assume you will be able to access your airline or booking at any given moment to add luggage and make changes like before. Use a travel agent if you don’t know how to handle all of this. Airline staff shortages are a global thing.

-Make life easy for yourself. Pack light (no Doreen you don’t need 35 outfits and 9 pairs of heels with matching hats for a 5 night trip). Check your luggage allowance. If it’s not enough, see above then cull. Excess baggage is more expensive now. So is freight. Keep that in mind when shopping until dropping. Pack accordingly.

-Allow plenty of time to arrive at the airport, check in, and go through immigration and customs. Why? Humans - that’s why. See below.

-Airlines and airports are still short-staffed. A lot of people travelling are also getting used to the new systems. And let's face it, some people are just as clueless as ever and think things are the same as 2019 (which is the case in some places but not all - yet). It will take some time to sort out. Be patient. It is not their fault they don’t read or think rules apply to them.

-It's been a long time for some. Remember you are in an international airport not a bogans anonymous meeting. We know you are excited about your $39 Jetstar flight to Phuket with the boys. We also know why you are going (unfortunately the entire departures area can hear you). Lads/ ladettes of Oz save us all some time. Don't show up reeking of booze in your best thongs and then loudly demand a free upgrade - just so you can access more booze in the lounge. You will be denied. Also now is a good time to mention - can we not let the kiddos go totally feral in the airport folks. It is not a creche, running track, jungle gym or a Parkour course. My suitcase is not the monkey bars. I am not a babysitter. The floor beneath me is not for food to be licked off. Carpets are dirty and not for young faces to sleep on. Oh and did I mention - wear actual clothes when travelling. End of story.

What I am saying is - we know you are excited but try to respect your fellow travellers and the country you are visiting. Just a little. I know its hard for some to fathom - but just try. Travel is a privilege not a right. Aussies often look like prize dicks out there. Be part of the change. Rebrand us to the world. Stay classy!

-Once onboard. Wear a mask even if it’s not mandatory ( see below as to why ) - N95 is recommended but there are some comfortable fit ones designed for long haul and they make a huge difference. Masks are not mandatory in the USA or the EU from the 16th May - it will be up to the airlines to impose their own rules after that. It will be up to you and them.

-Sanitise your seat / table/ buttons on the aircraft with a quick wipey wipe and be extra nice to the airline crew - they are understaffed and doing their best. They have to deal with all manner of people who have forgotten the details of air travel entirely. At least a mask can hide their swearing. Nothing hides my eye-rolling. Turbulence and seat belt sign on? Not the time to get up and open the overhead compartment full of duty-free booze. Just saying.

-People will be sick on your aircraft. It is a fact of life. You can't avoid it. People will have sniffles, coughs and all manner of human 'I am sick' noises. Chances are it’s COVID or the mutant flu. The exact same people will also take off their masks or not wear them at all. It's a fact. There is not a damn thing you can do about that. If you are super anxious about contracting COVID in enclosed spaces - this may freak you out. This may also make you change your travel plans. Or not.

-Pack your own blankie & pillow for the flight. Noise-cancelling headphones, a few pens, mints, eyemask, thick cotton sarong, eucalyptus/Vicks inhaler, lip balm and earplugs are always in my carry on anyway. Some airlines are running Economy on bare minimum extras now. Take a book. Download entertainment. Pack snacks or eat beforehand. Just in case. Oh and hydrate.

-It's highly likely your flights will change and change again. Our's did. Keep an eye out for your booking. Check your emails regularly. If this also stresses you out - once again - use a travel agent.

-Yes, the pandemic isn't over - needless to say, you may also get COVID during your travels. But then again you may not. Find out what happens if you do get it and what your destination requires you to do. What will insurance cover you for? Will you have to pay for a deep clean of your hotel room etc? (To our surprise - it was in the fine print. $350 to deep clean a room - ouch). Will you need to isolate or not and if so for how long? Also, you may want to factor in/ budget for the cost of additional PCR tests, accommodation and flight changes if they end up being needed. Then forget about it. I mean it - forget about it. Just keep all your receipts if you need to make a claim.

When all the boxes are ticked - check into your flight in record time, exhale and congratulate yourself on your superior organisational skills. Have a cheeky glass of bubbly with your beloved in your chosen airport lounge ( that you have checked is now open - prior to arrival. You are allowed in of course - because you didn't wear thongs).

And enjoy every goddamn moment of it. It's been a long time coming. You earned it. Every single moment of it.

Upon return to Australia, you will be "welcomed" by the very authoritarian voice of someone from Borderforce while still on the aircraft. It will be a lengthy harsh lecture, full of orders, punishments, and rules and lacking any warmth. It will be the most unwelcome welcome you will hear in a long time. After the last two years, it is perfectly on-brand but will do nothing for our tourism industry. No one needs to hear that kind of heavy-handed language prior to stepping off a plane. It’s the little things. The airport will feel empty. Welcome back to Australia.

Yes in some ways the world has changed but it is still out there and as glorious as ever. Pack a mask for the flight, some sanitiser and wipes. Dust off your passport - get your paperwork in order and get travelling again. Forget about the morass of politics, the real estate obsession, the fear narratives and Australia's other never-ending litany of woes. Instead go find smiley people, old friends, great food and some sunshine again. Remember who you used to be before all this happened.

Yes, you may have to wear a mask for hours on end on the flight, yes things may take a little longer and things might change at short notice - but it's worth it! It is just so worth it.

Singapore you always are a delight. Thanks for reminding me of what I am part of - the big, wide, beautiful world.

Travel - I missed you like air.