Why every Woman needs her 'V Team' during Perimenopause

As life changes go, women cop the raw end of the biological stick at times. We menstruate, copulate, procreate, lactate and ovulate. But what we don’t do well is talk openly about the cycles that happen as we age.

There are reams of words written about menopause, menstruation, puberty and motherhood – but the tricky time called perimenopause barely rates a mention. It often just lands in your lap as a big red surprise that no one really warned you about.

It’s a time when your cycle shifts gears – the abnormal becomes the new normal whether you like it or not. You are told you just have to get used to it. Talking to my female friends recently, I noticed how few of us even knew what to expect in this stage of life.

Like a bolt out of the blue – the bed is soaked. You think about buying shares in menstrual products, you super size for the first time, you are exhausted from a lack of iron and wearing white clothes seems like a fond distant memory.

Welcome to that tricky time that no one told you about.

Perimenopause is one of those times in life that a woman needs group wisdom and direction – some messy answers to some very messy messy questions.

This is when a team vageen steps in.

OK, I am very lucky that I live in an area where alternative health care is readily available and affordable. Non-Western modalities and natural solutions are everywhere at a fraction of the cost of back in Oz. I am also fortunate that the women I have in my circle are supportive and open with their own experiences and knowledge. This pool of support and wisdom is what women need as our body starts its journey into a new phase. And it is a phase - which means it wont last forever. Always remember that.

So why do you need a team?

Because there is no one size fits all solution to perimenopause. It may take more than a gynecologist to get you to the other side with your dignity, sanity and self-esteem intact. A GP will take you down the conventional path of pills and IUD’s. The natural therapies may take more time and cost more but it’s about knowing your options and seeing what suits your body. Chinese herbalism, naturopathy, Arvigo abdominal massage, diet – read up and start getting your head around what is out there. It is not all doom and gloom - you will be surprised.

My V team

The first member of my ‘team’ is a bodywork therapy specialist who contorts, stretches and regulates all the muscular stuff and stress in the hips, lower back and pelvis. This is not for relaxation but for release of muscle memory and ultimately to create balance. This isn’t a spa experience – its bodywork. Emphasis on the work.

The second vital member of the v team is my naturopath and herbalist who creates specific creams, provides reasoned advice that allays any fears and detailed vitamin formulas to support and regulate the changes.

Because I currently live in Bali - I can also readily source Javanese herbs, teas and smoke treatments from any of the local ladies. Which is another thing I add to the arsenal if need be.

Then I cross countries back to Oz where my Mayan massage and female health specialist is just a phone call or message away. If I’m in her area - she makes me up steam herbs, castor oil packs and hands out her Arvigo advice like sunshine. She reminds me to practice my self-massage and breathe into and trust my body. And of course, should it all go south - I also have a GP back in Perth for check ups and scans if need be.

Knowledge is power but moral support is key – talk, talk and talk some more.

Seek out your tribe of females and ask questions – as many as you can. Keep a journal, slow life down – this is a great reason to start meditating again.

Make sure your family know what’s happening. Don’t hide it away. But nurture yourself before you nurture anyone else. Lots of warming teas, soups and rest up when you need to. Most importantly ask for support when you need it.

Talk to your partner openly and include them - be real and honest about how it makes you feel. Don’t shut them out and hide the details from them. My beloved and I read loads of books, articles and always walk the awkward conversations together. And don’t forget sex – tantric or otherwise - it is a powerful portal into female wellness, so make it safe, make it sexy and make it hot.

Everyone’s story is different. Every woman’s body is different. Every peri will be different. So don’t just listen to the feel good stories and the horror stories (of which there are many) – find your happy medium. This is your story – you decide how it will go.